Javier’s: The Patron Perfect

My Favorite Marg Score: 4 Limes

4 Limes, 4 Limes, at Javier’s, are you kidding me?  This syrupy nonsense…Has anyone really had a good meal at Javier’s ever?  The only thing more confusing than this score is what was going on with JC and Megan’s relationship for the first 5 years?  Around the time JC and Megan met, this is about the time JC started going to Javiers, lots of birthday parties, Megan at these birthday parties, but they are just friends?  I think JC was as confused with his choice in margaritas as he was with his life choices. 

JC Loves Javier’s.  He loves Javier’s so much he lives across the street from it.  That’s some serious dedication to the marg game, and also some serious bias in his score.

-What makes a great margarita?  There’s no way I’m going to be the first to tell you, but its not Javier.  I’m not saying there isn’t a Javier out there that can’t make a legit marg, but this one hasn’t figured it out.  However, he has figured out how to fill a restaurant with Ed Hardy shirts, sweat, cigar smoke, and way too many creepy old men.  We won’t argue that Javier is incredibly successful at turning tables, but this is about margaritas.

-This may be the greatest outrage in the history of margarita reviews.  Has anyone been to Javiers and had anything that wasn’t smothered in mole sauce and disappointment?

-Sweet and Sour, “wrong”, artificial ingredients, no thanks.

-The glass is as basic, there’s no question about that.  Its as basic as the broads slamming these sloppy cocktails.

The drink is “absurdly smooth” because after it’s made its way through the eleventh dining room, and dodged a moose and a razorback before finding your table, half of the ice has melted in your glass from the cigar smoke.  You have no choice but to slam this watered down beverage just to save your windpipe. 

-This marg, just like this version of JC, a little too much try hard, not enough substance. 

Score of 2 for JC, he was at least able to make Megan a friend and not totally scare her away.

5 Lime Fraud Score: 2 Limer